My User Manual

User manuals are a great way to get to know the people you work with, and to get ahead of patterns that can enable or hinder working together. I’ve shared my own here.

What are some honest, unfiltered things about you?

I don’t suffer from Imposter Syndrome. The reason why: Everyone is figuring things out as they go, and everyone is less in control than they appear. I find that reassuring.

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For most of my life I was a purely analytical, logical person. Over the last few years I’ve learned to tap into my emotions more, both to help make decisions and as a way to connect more with others.

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I like to think on my feet. Sometimes that leads to me interrupting others. I’m working on this.

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Despite having some credentials, I’m not very achievement-oriented, and I’m not very competitive. These traits in others can rub me the wrong way.

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I’m more comfortable in the challenger position than in the pole position.

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I don’t express gratitude enough. I think I feel gratitude more than the average person, but I definitely express it less. I’m working on this.

What drives you nuts?

Ignoring evidence in favor of hope.

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I'm intensely introverted, so I don't do well with loud noises, unprompted intrusions, etc. My phone is always on silent and I have almost every notification turned off.

What are your quirks?

I don’t consider myself a particularly quirky person, to be honest. But if I had to choose, it would be my love of hobbies. I’m a serious hobbyist: Photography, linocut printmaking, cooking.

How can people earn an extra gold star with you? What qualities do you particularly value in people who work with you?

Model selflessness. I strongly believe that selfless behavior also produces the best selfish outcomes. This is only true, though, in environments where most people agree and model this behavior. What this looks like, in terms of “gold star” behavior, is someone who works first to separate the career conversation (“Here’s where I want to go in my role and in my career”) from the project conversation (“Here’s what I think we need to get done this week / month / quarter”). Only after both of these two pieces are discussed in isolation should we jump into reconciling them. This takes real mutual trust. As a manager, peer, or direct report, we need to agree that talking about the work that’s needed doesn’t obviate the need for career conversations, and that managers need to be pro-active in guiding the work toward what’s good for someone’s career.

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Ask questions. People are smart and will figure things out if given the right frame of reference. Questions do this better than comments.

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Write. Clear writing is the path to clear thinking. It's also the path to clear feedback. People who represent their ideas clearly in written (or drawn) form and much more likely to get actionable ideas from others, myself included.

What might people misunderstand about you that you should clarify?

I can sound critical about the current state of play. This isn’t an expression of pessimism, or a criticism of individuals. Instead, I think facing reality head-on is a necessary first step toward a solution.

How do you coach people to do their best work and develop their talents?

I believe in encouraging people to think for themselves.

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That usually means pointing someone in the direction of an opportunity and asking them to seize it. What ideally happens next: The person dives in to understand the opportunity as well as they can. They use me to answer questions and provide feedback along the way, but not as a source of answers. I coach best as an interlocutor for someone who is actively trying to solve a problem on their own, and is looking to me for validation.

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I try to get people to clearly represent their beliefs as a way of sharpening their thinking.

What’s the best way to communicate with you?

In person, with a visual support if helpful. Be clear about the boundaries of a conversation and its goals.

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I like to think in terms of frameworks, and look for evidence that you’ve done the same. Try to distill the boundaries of your thinking into a tool we can use to frame our ideas. Be explicit about your assumptions.

What’s the best way to convince you to do something?

  1. Present the problem or opportunity

  2. Clarify the goal precisely

  3. Show you’ve done the work of considering options

  4. Make a recommendation

  5. Ask for validation

How do you like to give feedback?

In person

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If it’s small feedback, I like to give it as soon as possible, while memory of the event is still clear

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If it’s rich feedback, I prep a document in advance, use it as an aid to the conversation, and share immediately after to allow the person to reference it and digest

How do you like to get feedback?

Verbal feedback is best for speed and for representing the right emotional tone, so I think verbal delivery is a key part of any good feedback

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In general I like to digest and mull over feedback, so for richer feedback I like having something written in email, Notion, etc. that I can read more than once